Wednesday, August 30, 2006

The sky looks dark. Sorry to those who are out without shelter or the protection from an umbrella, bella. Apart from being down with cough and flu, i have on and off feverish feeling. I am still feeling sick... I don't know which level of viral attack is being launched onto me, but i know for sure it's trying to tell me it's red alert level...

Dammn the flu bug.


I feel tired too. I am still very tired now. Rain down on me, rain down the cure...

Wouldn't it be good to have a universal aid-band which heals the heart and soul? i thing i saw it somewhere..

Dinner time. Both Yawn and Cough really sing the tune together, complemental to each other. Clap Clap. How can a opera show ends without the great cough medicine? Applaud! Because it really makes people sleep. It's more dangerous than alcohol. So please don't drive when u gonna drink it.

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Work-MA 

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MAC? 

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Sunday, August 20, 2006

Mishaps.

Yup, by the mathematical induction of blah blah, i therefore conclude the more than one bad things happened to me.

Still suffering from it right now.

Now i know why we keep dead people in the long rectangular cold box now. Tore a piece of skin off myself and left it on the table. Yucks. But it kind of dried up and hardened. Just imagine how gross it is to see how a dead man face all torn up if it's left to dry.

Went borders today, sat down read a few books too. Saw this book at one of the most unexplored part of the bookstore. It's called modern house, most of the pages are filled with drawings and photograph.. Most houses fit nicely to what i called dream house! But i first need to buy myself a cheap land... I was thinking if it's be so wonderful if i can just build or draw my own house next time. I am someone who believes in professionalism but again just teach me a things or two.. Watch and learn! Yup, architecture looked interesting. From the different path taken by the sunlight and elevation of the building from the ground, it gives life to each individual building. I particullary like these 2 pillars.. looks perfectly dull and lean from the outside, but it gives a unique personailty to itself and then surrounding, and a gd keeper of the time.

Then i was walking down, as i take a stop at the traffic light, saw 2 balloon tied together flying in the air.. was thought was who's the naughty boy who release them.. but again as i watched them fly higher, my thoughts drifted to "relationship".

I know that i am no guru in that, perhaps more a fool.

As the higher balloon was flying upwards, it's pulling the one below up. Getting tied to someone or something really drain some energy off. If it's on a level playing field, i guess both balloons would have flew higher at a faster speed upwards. With no strings attached, u tend to feel more carefree. That's all just some self consoling note to myself, gave me some space to breathe. And a reason to stride a bigger step.

But who's there to pull u up when ure down? Nobody.

I was just thinking if i was alienating myself from familiar faces or what? dammn

Felt a bit lost here and there, abit of jealousy. abit of fear. abit of everything.

Asked her out, got rejected flat.. Boohaoya.

Why can't we be friends... just like the song, she's fucking hates me, for i tried so hard?!?

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Thursday, August 17, 2006

My greedy black bunnie. I shall name u john. 

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Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Forgot to upload this photo. Ok bye sarah. 

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Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Not going home for good and for once. I was relatively pissed the day, while other days i just simply got irritated. Just a build-up not a sudden outbreak of anger. So much for losing my temper, i wonder if it's the insenstivity of others or people just like to complicate simple stuff up. Putting a strong message to others does not require those " PoW Wow " words. It just backfires and turn me off.

Like fuck it.

Felt relaxed spending the night in camp. It's really a different piece of mood now for me.. yeah if u get what i meant. Going on a good pace towards the date of "release", i felt geneuiely grateful those who made up or turned off my days. Thanks a million and u will be remembered for all yours good. It was fun playing winning eleven and drinking cheap bear, cause i figured out i can actually score only a goal in the game.

Checked the extreme tracking stuff just minutes ago, i wonder who's the reader using nus connection reading my blog in the late night. It's really a piece of barren land here! There's really nothing that springs out from here. Why aren't u sleeping man? or at least mugging off ur night? ask someone or people out for supper. or spend the night with someone in the room. No offence, just building up some mystery connection with u.

Speaking about that, i received unknown phonecall yesterday and i actually chat on and get to know her occupation and stuff like that. Okay. Gona see the boy on wednesday, busy busy work. How i wished i cld just have a long holiday. I await the coming of it and yearn to go school again and mug a few lives away.. i will miss those cheap jugs.

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Thursday, August 10, 2006

I should be good in bed by now i guess... but i guess i couldn't.

Oh btw i teared the other day because i watched a touching comedy movie, not that i was extremely sad.but that moment or two, i did feel alot better.

Just to let those reading have a preview of what i was doing an hour ago..

I jumped onto the bed, on my mp3 again. David tao's song was on the playlist again. Then it comes a song " shi chen xiang shi " - like we have known each other before. It just fit nicely in place with a piece of my mind. So i thought i probably sleep after the song play like 3 or 4 times. But i couldn't. So i just picked up the guitar and strum a few chords... so it goes on and on. Did a few moments of peace, closed my eyes and fall into the calmness of peace.. and clouded myself with a picture of darkness...

But it didn't bring me to sleep, so i can't help but to power up the monitor and now i am here writing some stuff...

I just want to bring myself back like 8months or plus back..
The typical day goes something like...


"..............

Oh I had a lousy day. It wasn't entirely a lost cause, but there were some moments that reached the pinnacle of sucky mountain, mostly having to deal with my duty to serve and thinking away to balance out time to spend with those i loved and cherish. All of which make me feel like the equivalent of hot gum on a sticky sidewalk; something annoying you just wish you could scrape off.

So, time was running past my mind like mad race. It seems it never come close to finishing, or even stopping. I hardly could breath a single day without thinking about her. Yup her. because mostly it was her her her her her her her her. That's all make up mostly to my pathetic life...

Hanging on to a pointless relationship certainly drained most of my energy off.. so I had a lousy day. I didn't know if i was in love or in a drainage filled with spare/spared attention.. but it did wash quite a sum of time off.. put it a point here - i am very tired.

so u can say i wanted a breather.. or u can it a temporal switch off...

or a struck of infidelity.

Whatever u want to coin it as k? it doesn't matter to me. What really matters to me is that i wasn't true to myself.

So i met a girl who i somehow come into my life.. someone who once i told stuff to. someone who i can phone can chat.. just as a friend. She was kind.. different from her. Someone who I can leaned against, sit down with on a most unthinkable situation, and I felt renewed by her warmth and her faded smell.

All she has to do is sit beside me to make me feel whole again. I love her for that.
I certainly do.

But it all comes back to the point.. i wasn't true to myself................. "

I hang on and went to back the to pointless blank.. a shot that i am regretting. i should be. or if not or should have never felt so.

I suppose i could just hid this entry up because i didn't want either of them to read it.

How ironic can things can sometimes.. when u thought a broken relationship wld have left u with a hole so deep u never can fill up.. but sometimes u like to dig in more and let it out..

What's left to me... a exiled stranger, and a friend who gonna turn stranger too.
Thank you for ur smiles and love you for ur kindness.

Lastly, dammn the computer who always prompt me to shut down! 3 Goodnight/ Okay it's morning anyway...

" neng bu neng ran wo zai yu jian ni "..

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Wednesday, August 09, 2006

fucking nice evo 9 

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Monday, August 07, 2006

自導自演的悲劇

都是你

Oh Yeah Da la la la

就像早就知道 一個故事所有情節

卻還是會曲中未變熟悉感覺

我們心已瞭解 這出戲已不該再接

Yeah 卻沒有拒絕

我看著你對著空氣做表情

沒有對手的戲一場又一場

你只好一個人對鏡頭笑

如果我真心愛你 該有快樂結局

怪我不懂珍惜 把你推深逃

我來不及 改變結局

這是我自導自演的悲劇

Hey 自導自演的悲劇

Yeah yeah

自導自演的悲劇 Yeah

那是什麼道理 為何還要優而不取

是情願能聊 還是重複過去

悲傷有種美麗 愛越苦就越刺激

最後小傷了已 我看著你對著空氣做表情

沒有對手的戲一場又一場

你只好一個人對鏡頭笑 Yeah

如果我真心愛你 該有快樂結局

怪我不懂珍惜 把你推深逃

我來不及 改變結局

這是我自導自演的悲劇

如果我真心愛你 能否改變結局

還是不懂珍惜 又構造一切

我來不及 改變結局

這是我...自導自演的悲劇

Da la la la 是你 是我只能怪自己

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Sunday, August 06, 2006

Why can't i invent wires which don't short-circuit? Then probably u can fix some of them in ur puny brain.

But i mean it.. it probably save alot lives if someday others invent it. Less train will crash and less plane that will explode in the mid-air.

Long day tml.

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Saturday, August 05, 2006

I teared today but it felt so much better ( ;

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Thursday, August 03, 2006

Balloon fly high, as the wind blow us by.

I guess lost time is never to be found. Indeed, i was quite taken aback by her respond today. To be honest, i still feel fairly happy about the time spent together. And it all just go by like a summer breeze... it take seasons before new things get grown and another time to harvest.

Enjoyed the wind tonight, though i did feel abit cold. It's not like u need to find someone to fill an empty hole / neither by feeling like "shiet". Which seems totally unfair and meaningful to the whole thing.

It's just the regrets that "pokes" the most out of me.

Was in the office the other morning, and i chance upon this song " Home " by MicBuble.. not a big fan of his but the lyrics got my attention.

It kept me listening to the song.
it goes like..

Another summer day
Is come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm
Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh I miss you, you know

Certainly there's always a time when i missed so much about going home. Just the feeling of having a simple dinner with mum and dad and bro n sis..makes the tough day goes by so easily at the end of the day. A dinner with someone u love and care makes it more special than a lavish feast of food.


I suppose i need to go sleep soon? Yup just waiting for the download to be complete.

3Goodnight.

I suppose i know what is the reason all along, did my best to apologize.
It's just me not be honest enough.

Just another sorry for u.

As for me, i cheated no one, but of own feelings. Mostly, mine. I think.

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retarded look 2 

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night view, nice wind. 

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retarded 

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Big balloon 

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