Sunday, April 03, 2005

It's been a tough week mentally for me. I have been really suppressing all my feelings deep down in me. I never feel so hard to breathe before. So hard in letting go each grasp of the air, each moment that had ran across my mind.

Well, the moment i stepped into the hse, i was lost. There's a party going on, and there's like dozens of people crapping in the small hse. And i get to see some pretty cousins which i never had ever come across. Who are them man? It's just a birthday party but obviously i am not that birthday boy. Feeling so hard to breathe, i can't help but to escape from the crowd. Just really grab my clothes and went out in the night to catch the "Be cool". Nice and humorous and n learn to keep the cool. I hardly talk in the show, in the cab and when i was home, the party is over. A cool, quiet day for me. But i did smile today, a demure smile. What's wrong with me? I really don't know..

A few words can really kill everything..

"So far down, away from the sun
That shines into the darkest place
I'm so far down, away from the sun
That shines the life away from me
To find my way back into the arms
That care about the ones like me "

jjia leaving skool at 12:33 AM

***