Sunday, February 27, 2005

Sit test is just over, what a tiring 2 days full of predictable missions..a big thank to junren and samuel. Without them, i guess e grp will be screwed. It's simply fun because i get to do all e "dangerous" job like saving a headless dummy while i was lowered down by e guys into a "valley". Where's my safety rope anyway? But it's really fun.. now i know who i can really put my trust upon. Anyway tekong survival course is simply amazing too which is conducted by sg kl... haha this involved opening coconut with SAF bayonets! But e coconut is so cooling n nice.. i am offically tekong trained by now. So far, i enjoyed myself. Lastly ten days to passing out! I will certainly miss all e wonderful guys ya.

Dream. Emotion. Reality.

I do dream alot nowadays. Past memories do really flash here n there in an erractic manner, i get to dream of different pple that crossed my life. Hai, it's hard to forget some pple ( ).. anyway prayers do help. At least, it keep me going and suppress my lifted emotions at times. Lastly a song to end with everything today

Scar

He left a card, a bar of soap and a scrubbing brush next to a note
That said "use these down to your bones"
And before I knew I had shiny skin and it felt easy being clean like him
I thought "this one knows better than I do"
A triangle trying to squeeze through a circle
He tried to cut me so I'd fit And doesn't that sound familiar?

Doesn't that hit too close to home?
Doesn't that make you shiver; the way things could've gone?
And doesn't it feel peculiar when everyone wants a little more?
And so that I do remember to never go that far,
Could you leave me with a scar?

So the next one came with a bag of treats, she smelled like sugar and spoke like the sea
And she told me don't trust them, trust me
Then she pulled at my stitches one by one, looked at my insides clicking her tongue and said "This will all have to come undone"
A triangle trying to squeeze through a circle S
he tried to cut me so I'd fit

And doesn't that sound familiar?
Doesn't that hit too close to home?
Doesn't that make you shiver; the way things could have gone?
And doesn't it feel peculiar when everyone wants a little more?
And so that I do remember to never go that far,
Could you leave me with a scar?

I think I realized just in time, although my old self was hard to find
You bathe me in your finest wine but I'll never give you mine
'Cos I'm a little bit tired of feeling like I'll be the bad fruit nobody buys
Tell me, did you think we'd all dream the same?

And doesn't that sound familiar?
Doesn't that hit too close to home?
Doesn't that make you shiver; the way things could have gone?

And doesn't it feel peculiar when everyone wants a little more?
And so that I do remember to never go that far,
Could you leave me with a scar?
Could you leave me with a scar?

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Wednesday, February 23, 2005

I am back in my room. I managed to find an lucky excuse to get myself bk out for a few hours. Currently using this hours to eat, sleep and to get online. Did the peer appraisal yesterday, was wondering how other platoon mates think of me.I had lose my cool once to my section, and it was on the night when we are all digging fire trench and shell scripts.. haha was digging near 2 shell scripts - one for myself and the other one for my buddy.. Imagine one man doing 2 man job! Sigh, shouldn't lose my cool but i was darn shagged... with blisters all over my hands. The field camp had allowed the true colours of others to be revealed.. and mine too =p . I wondered why didn't i "wayang" when i hav the chance of being the rpc.. haha instead i am kind enough to let my rps do all my job since he's too enthu.. haha some told me i was a joker and slacker - "chao geng "... can't be a leader ya.. seems like i never reveal all of my true colours.. i guess i must learn to be more selfish when time to come. But anyway 2 more weeks or perhaps less, i will be officially a private...one more sit test, ippt, soc, and finally graduation parade!

I doubt i can get into ocs, perhaps sispec will be a better place for me to learn and to "wayang" - With pride we lead. It's gonna be four oclock soon! got to go and get them chocolate, sweets. Soldiers always lack of food and sleep.

My wish is to get nspi and cross over to police. But that was a day dream la. i will treat everybody food if i get that! But nevertheless i just wanna get this 2 yrs over and carry on with my civillian life. I like the army song which goes something like this

" i dun wish to lead a soldier life, i wanna get home.
But my CO don't let me go,
my OC don't let me go,
my PC don't let me go, mummy i wanna get home "

Yup dora i really wish to spend more time with u.

jjia leaving skool at 3:35 PM (0) comments

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Monday, February 21, 2005

What if ignorance is really a bliss?

Yup.. life is full of what if? Well, what if i can't meet all my expectations in life? But i always tell my myself that the most important in life is keep trying everyday. The motto of my life i guess. I am feeling in pieces because i am quite lost in what i want in my life again. I would say i feel uncertain abt things actually.. my result? my army life? my friends? my love? and the drifted christian life of mine. Feeling lonely and entrapped in my own problems. I can't really share it well with anyone. They could only give me encourage me at most..but i still hav to face all this myself. I just walk alone ya with my shadow behind me. But i know i am a strong man.. i need courage and peace Lord.

jjia leaving skool at 7:20 PM (0) comments

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Tuesday, February 08, 2005

I thought sleepy bug is catching up on me but it seems that i can't rest.

What a night full of questions..by reading bks and looking at real life examples, i wonder why again. Why do some pple hold on somethings so dearly that had already be gone. That very moment that lifted up ur life, that moment of truth and honesty. But thinking back nothings hold. Promises break when everything ends.

why bother to hold on? why be tormented by it?
why not just forget it? why?

Nothing holds anyway. Things change, nothing remain stastic.

But again, if giving up is easy,

Why are there people out there,

still holding onto it?




jjia leaving skool at 1:55 AM (0) comments

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The Fragility of Life.

A great topic to start writing about. Have you ever asked urself what will u do if u know u are going to die tml? Life can end so easily. Hopes can be dashed and dreams can never ever be fufuiled. For sure, I will spend the last hours with my loved ones if i know i am going to die. I know i will be heaven.

Guess u must be thinking at this moment why, why am i writing all this. Because i wanna tell someone out there, life should be faced with courage and dignity, never lose ur fighthing spirit even u are falling down. Life may be fragile but the spirit of one who fights, stands strong.

Hmm.. i am sleepy. Nite blog.




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