Sunday, August 29, 2004

Has the door of Happiness opened?

I wondered if it is really a door of opportunity. One which will change my perspective of relationship? Once again, i'm like sinking into deep sweet uncertainty....

As i'm drowning in the midst of raving stuff, i never expect the unexpected. It all happened in the last week of sch. Ironically, as i'm deciding to leave the school with little expectancy of out of it.. it struck me. Perhaps time passed so quickly this year due to a person. I shall say that she save me from the draggy sch life sometimes, giving me something to look forth at the end of the day..

Shall see what will happened once again..

A nice song

On a Monday, I am waiting
Tuesday, I am fading
And by Wednesday, I can't sleep
Then the phone rings, I hear you
And the darkness is a clear view
Cuz you've come to rescue me
Fall... With you, I fall so fast
I can hardly catch my breath, I hope it lasts

Ohhhhh
It seems like I can finally rest my head on something real
I like the way that feels
Ohhhhh
It's as if you've known me better than I ever knew myself
I love how you can tell
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me
I am moody, messy
I get restless, and it's senseless
How you never seem to care
When I'm angry, you listen
When youre happy, it's a mission
And you wont stop 'til I'm there
Fall... Sometimes I fall so fast
Well, I hit that bottom
Crash, you're all I have

Ohhhhh
It seems like I can finally rest my head on something real
I like the way that feels
Ohhhhh
It's as if you known me better than I ever knew myself
I love how you can tell
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me
How do you know everything I'm about to say?
Am I that obvious?
And if it's written on my face...
I hope it never goes away... yeah
On a Monday, I am waiting
And by Tuesday, I am fading into your arms...
So I can breathe

Ohhhhh
It seems like I can finally rest my head on something real
I like the way that feels
Ohhhhh
It's as if you've know me better than I ever knew myself
I love how you can tell
Ohhhhh
I love how you can tell
Ohhhhh
I love how you can tell
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me...



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Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Being oblivious to the risk, i ran the race.

Well i'm animated by the things i learned today during econs. Well we touched on something out of the field of econs, which is the opening up of the Education system and the way teachers teach today. After going through the system for nearly ten plus years, i feel a sense of relief as i will have a 2yr break soon. I feel that the teachers like to spoonfeed us. It's indeed a failure of the system. Well, students nowadays are trained just like operators with manual of a machine. In the light of a crisis, we will simply refer to our manual. But what happens if the manual does not give the solution to a specific situation. May we just fumble n fall.. crashing the system!

Well, with the opening up of the Education system, those who are less intellectual actually can still secure a place in Uni with constant hardwork or sheer luck. With this, the society see it as a issue of equity. Perhaps it's just a waste of resources with some PhD holders who can merely wash testube in the research lab. I'm not trying to say how superior i am. But sometimes i can't help to feel that way when i'm in sch. Perhaps dat's why i find it hard to talk to some of my classmates with e "down-tuned" frequency. Maybe their grades can be wonderful but i guess the time in the future can prove everything. Maybe i'm not that wonderful afterall too. Haha..

Being camouflaged in our uniforms, most people value the students just to how well the results the sch can produce. Another failure again. I feel that the system should value and impart us the so called " thinking " skill. A essential skill to survive nowadays as idea are highly valued. To raised another point is that, teachers can offer us not necessary knowledge but also their ideas in all areas. The decision to buy or reject these ideas is still up to the students. That's perhaps sometimes i like to do things my way. However i feel that i must be mindful of the consequences of my decision too.


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Sunday, August 15, 2004

Trying to fly before walking. I'm trying to do the impossible now. The task to finish everything just right on the time. At first i felt that time is running out but i think i'm getting on the beat. It's a gd sign =)

Nothing much. Just a Sunday. A day of mugging? well no life.. Ya everyone is like asking.. Are u ok? I'm ok. I'm fine. Haha i just wanted to do what i like =p but i guess i just got to forgone 'em. Throwing my life away. I'm not keen going out nowadays to the town for the reason that no one is free to go out too. Needless to say for those who are mugging their life away like me. Most are turning to gf? I still remember those days studying out.. I'm gay! Not really a gd sign.

I wondered why this blog is getting more personal. Maybe bloggers simply just want to find a dumping ground for their emotional baggaes.. I was talking to derrick about living a life with no regrets. It's hard living a life with no or little regrets for man bound to make mistakes. Just coming back to that point of emtional baggaes. I feel that it's really effective to dump some of the things here sometimes but at the same moment losing the privacy of your personal life.

Well i saw her that day. For nearly a year, i didn't see her. I gave her a smile on my face, perhaps she's still not ready to face me.. I wondered.. but well had some quality time out with old friends.


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Saturday, August 07, 2004

It's a lonely night. Perhaps that's the reason spark me often thinking of the past as i listen to this song. I can't help to think of the past again. Actually we are soon to be parted for a year. 22 more daes to a yr of singlehood? Hmm..it's a season of love n yet i'm heart broken. Being ignored by a ger.. Perhaps it just fate. But what hit me at this moment of time is the past. I still can't believe sometimes love can just come n go as though it never pass by. A swift n silent wind, blowing away everything - love. It hurt so much in my heart sometimes to think that i never cherish the love i used to have. I'm actually a fool. A fool gd enough to fool another person. I still remember saeing to her that i never loved her over the phone. I did that because i wanted her to go. To find someone better than me. At that moment of time i broke every single promise, i tore her heart, shattering all the hopes. That's the reason i said " i don't love you ".

Just like the song, flipping through the photo book, i still can see those smiles on our face. A moment of sweetness filled my heart, followed by bitterness n regretness. That's the reason i hate to flip that book open and i wondered why am i still keeping that book! The past is just so like yesterdae... so yesterdae. I gave up everything... everything... i guess i wanted no more.. i wan to let go of everything.. nothing seems really to heal me.. the pain.. i want to be alone! That's my state of emotion last yr. I guess i will still continue to be alone. I yearn for another love but i fear to lose it again...

it so much like a dream sometimes. so yesterday.


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Jie Kou Excuse

fan zhe wo men de zhao pian / xiang nian ruo yin ruo xian

qu nian de dong tian / wo men xiao de hen tian

kan zhe ni ku qi de lian / dui zhe wo shuo zai jian

lai bu ji ting jian / ni yi zou de hen yuan

ye xu ni yi jing fang qi wo / ye su yi jing hen nan hui tou

wo zhi dao shi zi ji cuo guo / qing zai gei wo yi ge li you shuo ni bu ai wo

jiu suan shi wo bu dong / neng bu neng yuan liang wo

qing bu yao ba fen shou dang zuo ni de qing qiu

wo zhi dao jian chi yao zou / shi ni shou shang de jie kou

qing ni hui tou / wo hui pei ni yi zhi zou dao zui hou

jiu suan mei you jie guo / wo ye neng go cheng shou

wo zhi dao ni de tong / shi wo gei de cheng nuo

ni shuo gei guo wo zong rong / chen mo shi yin wei bao rong

ru guo yao zou / qing ni ji de wo / ru guo nan guo / qing ni wang le wo

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