Monday, May 31, 2004

Just another dae again. Well? I am a flirt meh? Just sociable mah.. Youth conference is coming up and i got in the finals for extreme sports suprisingly. Aniwae when out with xin yesterdae to esplanade. Had a dae of crap n spend time together ya. Flirt again? i dunno.. Haha.. aniwae she quite funni lor. I tend to talk more crap with her than when i'm going out with dora ler.. maybe i'm just too shy or tense up when i'm out with dora hor. She must be enjoyin herself over at thailand.. Well awaiting for her to come bac.

Aniwae the holidaes is meant for studying. I guess i got to be disciplined enough to do the revision. i just dunno why i get so hungry easily recently. Hmm.. Am i still growing? haha.. Ok time to get some food =)



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Saturday, May 29, 2004

Had extreme sports yesterdae. Sort of a race. Yup it's physically tiring n challenging. Here's some pics --


I'm outstanding Ya?


Shirleen looking great with her mirror

Yup a dae with the sun n the sand =p


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Saturday, May 22, 2004

Came across some old Jay's song ( Xing Qing & Long Juan Feng ) Hmm.. It's like 3 or 4 yrs ago.. it's as if i'm still in ahs n my my class 4c n stuff... Suddenly recall so much.. It's those daes. Those gd daes with derrick.. Suddenly recall when those daes Jm teaches me how to play swing.. Sort of a extreme sport to me.. It's like swing vertically up.. It hav become a hobby to me last time. I will go play swing alone whenever i'm down. I remembered once that i nearly puke out. (Like a 5 old kid) Hmm time has passed so fast. Jm has become a officer? derrick n i was in different jc now. Realli missed those daes. How i wish life can be make simpler n sweet.

But as i grew up, i realized more abt things in life. I see both the good and bad of living in this world. I had always trying to keep things right in place, n put on a smile to wipe off all the troubles deep down me. Purpose? Yes - To be a positive young man. Actually i came to realize that i'm still surviving. Although i had a major depression last yr, i'm still alive. I came to know abt pple who do foolish things to end their own life. ( Cutting their hands, Jumping off a building n stuff ) Taking a look at myself, i'm really glad that i never try to attempt any. A conclusion i had drawn from the book: Tuesday with Morrie - is to live life bravely everyday.

But as i grew up. I feel that the society is really like a big tall ladder. Sometimes i just can't help to feel superior to some of my counterparts in terms of behavior, thinking - intelligence. While some other time i need to learn n look up to those who i feel inferior to. To observe n learn. I guess that's the only way to climb up this ladder.

Is that all the purpose of life? To be brave, strong, and to seek success? I dunno. Some pple seek love. Teenagers like me seek love just because they feel lonely... and perhaps they need someone to rely and share their joy n sadness? i dunno. Well.. i guess i seek love in which it will be those of everlasting? i dun believe in those with the mentality of " eh, try try la..maybe it's true love, who knows? " Well, i dunno. I’m still learning how to love and really show care to my own family first.. So as i always think - If u have a warm n happy family. Why will u seek accompany from any other?



Just some cartoon to kill the boredom of reading the above stuff








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Wednesday, May 19, 2004

Wat's the purpose of life? As each day unfolds, this purpose renew one's life. How abt living a life without a purpose? Just being deadbeat at the end of dae, never knowing what to get out of it everydae? A rountine.. so tiring? I dunno

I overslept the dae.. feel bad for not going sch.. anywae i got sick. With a test awaiting tml, i didn't study much.. My biological clock got realli messed up. It's so bad that i couldn't fell alseep.. Wat to do again?

Life is like spinning around,
Revolving around the same spot.
On this spot of life
Things never seems to move
Everyday.
So still.
So cold.

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Saturday, May 15, 2004

Haha scramble up ur life once a month. Do something you'd had never dream of doing. Haha.. Well i'm stuck in Singapore this holidae i guess.. Not going aniwae.. A comfirmation. A tight schdeule? i dunno.. Perhaps a tight one in term of studying and revising for the upcoming common test again.

Hmm some reflections..

I wonder how is she doing rite now. I stumbled across this song once more. Haha.. Aniwae hope to get e guitar soon and learn to play it soon..

I guess loneliness drives one to think back into time.. Love is not abt how much love you hav in the beginning but how much love is build out of it till it end.. Relationship often end with little love i guess.. When two people go in seperate ways, their love is dissipated over time..It upset me once more again.



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Friday, May 14, 2004

It's been a week of work. I'm tired n my body is breaking apart. It's like big down swing. I saw Dora at the gate this morning. She stopped n smile. I'm too tired n i sort of totally ignored her. Perhaps she's thinking in her mind " Strange Jj " Hmm.. I didn't meant it ya. I'm strange. Haha Yes i'm.. Had be electrified by high voltage current.. Wow.. She's like popping in and out of life in a veri irregular basis. Hmm better not show too much of my acts of floundering... If not it will burden me..

Sweet dreams.

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Monday, May 10, 2004

It's like any other day again, returning from the reality as e bubble in my life burst once more. I feel that it is not a veri apt expression but well.. Nothing much is realli happening. I had a veri terrible night daes ago.I recalled it was the day when i went to Vj for e concert.. Hmm.. sometimes seeing pple generates unwelcomed memories.. one which i dun wan to recall and the veri mistake i dun wan to make again.. it is to go into a relationship.. never knowing wat i wan out of it..perhaps i putting down all this for a moment.. i guess i got much more stuff to do.. wait n see ya

Haha often there's a trade off.Losing something in return for another..

I'm still trying to smile it all off

What if you wake up tomorrow, forgetting that all this'd even happened? What if you wake up tomorrow, forgetting everything? And, what if you never wake up again? Would you regret not being able to see, to feel, to experience the beauties of the world? Or would your last parting thought be one rejoicing that you'll never have to awaken to face the complications of life ever again?


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Sunday, May 09, 2004

yup..had a chat with her online.. haha she's veri gd with words i guess.. she put it in a veri nice wae.. hmm..i guess i do understand.. wait n see ya..hmm..oh ya look on e bright side..least i know her more.. n yes know wat i wan more.. never too late for anithing.. timing is veri thing... perhaps it not the right time ya.. ( never interpret anything u dun understand, For instruction please refer to the manual )

Oh ya it's Mothers DaY.. remember dude.. haha.. to do the 5 things.. Yup.

Wait n See



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Wednesday, May 05, 2004

I'm taking a break from my school work for this moment..well for some reason i decided to delete my previous entry.. Hmm.. the test is relatively ok todae..partly because i'm abt to hav sufficent time to prepare it.. Aniwae i feel realli bad about the incident happened yesterdae.. I know taking a earli break from the hectic sch life is perhaps a easy wae out for me.. i didn't endure.. well i got nothing to sae abt that..but i'm realli tired.. My head is spinning.. well... i didn't get a mC..n yup..i know the problem doesn't lies here.. First, it's my attitude.. I admit i didn't endure n gave up.. Secondly, i didn't get a mC n it makes things difficult for mr Tan.. Well i didn't wanted to abuse the friendship..i treat him as a teacher in sch.. a fren outside.. never wanted to take any advantage..Being a student, if i didn't hand up my work n he wants to punish me.. i'm willing to accept the punishment.. it's my fault.. I didn't get a MC..n he has to take e neccessary action..i got nothing to sae.. i just dun wan to foul up things..n screw up the relationship with him.. I didn't want to make things diffcult for hime..neither do i want to abuse his kindness.. but perhaps he misunderstood me.. all i can sae is i'm sorri..




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